


Farewells

by melxncholly



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hawke Has A Twin, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kidfic, Minor Anders/Female Hawke, Parent Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8376034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melxncholly/pseuds/melxncholly
Summary: Malcolm Hawke was not good at goodbyes. He hated them, because when he said goodbye, no one came back. To Malcolm, that was as bad as killing him.---un-beta'd, literally just shameless angst





	

Malcolm Hawke was not good at goodbyes. He hated them, because when he said goodbye, no one came back.

 

To Malcolm, that was as bad as killing him.

 

He still remembers his mother leaving, how she kissed his forehead and whispered  _ I love yous _ and how he never saw her smile again. 

 

How his father got a letter and cried and mourned and hugged Malcolm so tight. 

 

How their house filled with people, with family, all teary eyed and he knew, knew how he’d never see her again.

 

And now he had to say goodbye again.

 

In the distance, Malcolm could hear his Uncle calling his name, and he shifted himself closer to the wall, his legs pulled close to his chest. He sniffled loudly, blinking back tears as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

“Malcolm?” The familiar face of his Uncle peaked around the corner, his face softening as his eyes fell on the boy. 

 

“How are you holding up?” A loaded question if there was any. He gave his Uncle a grunt, his arms pulling his legs closer to his chest.

 

“I don’t understand why he has to  _ go _ .” Malcolm’s voice cracked, and he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent an onslaught of tears. He could feel his Uncle settle beside him, a sigh coming from his lips. 

 

“It’s… difficult Malcolm,” Was all his Uncle said. He could feel his blood boiling, barely restrained magic sparking at his fingertips. He was on his feet in an instant, his gaze, angry and sad turned on his Uncle.

 

“That’s what  _ everyone _ says! But it’s not fair! Mum is gone, and now I’m losing him too!” Malcolm could feel hot, angry tears roll down his face, but he didn’t care, it  _ hurt _ . “I don’t want to be alone!” More tears fell, and he hiccupped, his hands flying to his face to wipe away unwanted tears.

 

“Mal…” He could feel hands settling on his shoulders, and he looked up to see his Uncle’s sad eyes. His mother's twin Garrett, his favorite Uncle, he looked so sad. His brown eyes that were usually so happy and joyful were red and solemn.

 

He looked much older than Malcolm remembered.

 

“I know it’s hard, and scary,” A lock of hair was pushed from Malcolm’s face, and the older man gave him a sad smile. “I understand. I’ve lost… I lost my mother and father too, and others- but you won’t be alone. You’ll be with me, and you’ll have the love of everyone else with you.”

 

Malcolm hiccupped, his gaze falling to their feet. He could feel his Uncle pull him into a hug, his hands making comforting circles on Malcolm’s back.

 

“Even though they’ll… they’ll both be gone, it doesn’t change the fact that your father loves you so much. It doesn’t change that your mother loved you to the heavens and back. You’ll keep that love with you always.”

 

For a moment the only sound between them was each others breathing, and Malcolm’s quiet sniffles.

 

“I- I guess you’re right.” Was all Malcolm said, his eyes never leaving the ground. The man gave a rough laugh, and gave Malcolm a tight squeeze before pulling away.

 

“Of course I’m right… Come, they’re all waiting for you.”

 

The walk to where his father was waiting felt like hours, and Malcolm’s only lifeline was the tight grip he kept on his Uncle’s hand. A group stood there, his parents friends, his Uncle Carver in proud Warden blue and silver. He felt his chest tighten, and fear chilled his bones. 

 

He couldn’t do this, it was too real. He was better off ignoring the problem, pretending it never existed in the first place. That was better, that was familiar, this was all too real.

 

His Uncle Garrett’s arm around his shoulder pulled Malcolm back, back to reality and back to how his father was walking away to die.

 

And suddenly he was there, standing in front of his father, whose smile was sad and arms were open. And suddenly there was so much regret, so much past anger that felt so silly, so much time spent apart when really, Malcolm could be creating memories with his father.

 

The thought that he’d never see this man again scared him to the bone.

 

He was in Anders arms in an instant, and sob tearing its way from Malcolm’s throat as he squeezed his father's middle.

 

A flurry of  _ I’m sorry’s  _  and  _ I love you’s _ escaped the boy, and everything came tumbling out. How he was scared, how he missed his father now and forever, how he didn’t want him to go. 

 

Malcolm could feel his father's arms wrap around him, easily lifting him up as if he was still a baby, and squeeze him tight. The boy looked at his father for a fraction, and it hurt his heart to see the thick black veins running down his face and neck. 

 

He wished that this was a dream. He hoped. 

 

Malcolm didn’t know how long they stood like that. Holding each other and whispering ‘I love you’, but eventually he had to let go. Malcolm was put down, his father leaning down to his level and pushed the hair from his eyes. 

 

“Promise me you’ll behave for your Uncle.”

 

“I promise Papa.”

 

“Good boy,” Anders smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and if Malcolm ignored the ugly taint, he could pretend his father was fine. “I love you so much, I’m so proud.”

 

He could hear the waver in his father’s voice, how it sounded like he would break down at any minute.

 

“You’re mother would be too. Promise me you’ll keep practicing your magic?” He sounded so broken, so sad, and it  _ hurt _ .

 

“I promise Papa.” Malcolm blinked tears back, and his heart hurt. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t want to say goodbye. Malcolm would have much rathered a hole to open and swallow him whole, then say goodbye to his father who was walking off to his death.

 

“Good boy,” the man pressed a kiss to his forehead, before pulling Malcolm into a tight hug.

 

“I love you so much, never forget it, please.”

 

Malcolm hugged him tight, held the man so close. Maybe if he held him close, his father would decide not to leave, that maybe he’d get better.

 

“Anders- We need to go.” His Uncle Carver's voice brought them out of it. It felt like time was moving slow, that Malcolm wasn’t caught up with the rest of the world. His father and Uncle talked, the rest of the group said their goodbyes and well wishes. He felt his father give him one last hug, one last kiss and I love you, before leaving.

 

And Malcolm watched. Watched him and his Uncle walk away until they were little specks on the horizon. He went through the rest of the day in a haze, not registering the hugs from his family, or the gentle hand on his back leading him to bed at the end of the day.

 

As he fell asleep, a thought roused him, something that made his heart hurt. 

  
_ “I forgot to say I love you back _

**Author's Note:**

> and then the warden found anders and carver and was like 'hu-ah i have the cure' and anders went home and everything was ok and mal didnt grow up regretting what he never said
> 
> but no this was just shameless angst because i love making my ocs sad


End file.
